What great leaders know NOT to do 🙅‍♂️

Sometime it's more about what you don't do that brings success on the dance floor.

Avoid these common missteps great leaders avoid.

No Verbal Leads 🤐

Social dancing is lead/follow based. If you find that you cannot lead your partner with your body either:

1. You are not leading clearly and/or
2. They do not have the knowledge or ability to follow this step.

In either case, it’s best to try something else - preferably a simpler pattern that you can succeed in dancing together.

It’s not ok to coach your partner through a move - sounds like “now you turn here”.

When leaders resort to verbal leads they are trying to force a situation. It’s unpleasant and unnecessary.

Don’t Ignore Your Partner While Dancing 👀

If you look bored or miserable, or are looking around the room instead of at your partner - they will have a bad experience. Better not to dance than to give a partner this experience.

Don’t Lead Moves You Don’t Remember. 🚫
And certainly don’t try them over and over if they’re not working.

This sounds obvious, but you wouldn’t believe the number of times this happens at dance parties. It goes something like this:

Leader:  “I’m going to try this new move. I just learned it.”
Follower: Thinks “oh no, here we go…”

Leader: “I don’t remember how it starts; I think it goes something like this”
Follower: Smiles wanly as leader flails like a fish out of water

Leader: “And you’re supposed to go here, or is it that way?”
Follower: Begins looking for escape route...

Leader: “Mmm that wasn’t right. Let me try that again”
Follower: Stares ahead blankly willing themself to endure the next two minutes.

While you certainly don’t need to be perfect to lead a new step socially, you should only lead steps that you can comfortably and confidently execute. Hope is not a strategy 😅

Your classes, lessons, and practice sessions are the appropriate times to work through new moves and get them in your muscle memory so you can lead them well on the social dance floor.

If you try a step and it doesn’t work, either:

1. You didn’t lead it well (and so you should practice more before attempting again) and/or
2. Your partner isn’t experienced enough to follow this step (and you should downshift to steps they can more easily follow).

If a move doesn't work, choose other steps that will be more successful and enjoyable for both of you.

Don’t Correct Your Partner 😳

When someone agrees to social dance with you, they're not consenting to be your student. And it's not appropriate to offer unsolicited feedback or to try to "fix" anyone else.

It's not your place to correct another person on dance floor, nor is it helpful.

The best way to support fellow dancers is by accepting them as they are and giving them the grace and space to learn and grow at their own pace.

Don’t grab your partner and hold them in a viselike grip. ➡️⬅️

Always make space for your partner’s body, even in the closest of connections - sensual Bachata, American Tango, etc.

Many leaders don’t realize the importance of holding your arms in front of your body when dancing in body contact. The energy of your arms should create space rather than restrict space.

Inviting a partner to dance closely is fine, but pressing them to you is uncomfortable, restricts their ability to move, and pulls them off balance.

Be sensitive to your follower’s comfort level and preferences when dancing closely.

Don't Force Dips & Tricks 💥

I’m a rather fearless follow. I’ve been flipped upside down by a strangers at a club, lifted in the air by dancers I’ve never met. With a confident lead for a trick or dip, one cannot help but follow.

When a lead isn’t clear or correct, I’m not going off balance - no thank you. Hence the shakily attempted dip by the leader who says “Don’t worry, I got you”.

Needing to say "I got you" means they don't "got you".

This is very different from a secure lead in which the Leader’s body itself says “I have you so perfectly secure and my body weight is counterbalanced in such a way that falling is not possible”. And I will follow that lead.

So don’t force your follower to do dips or tricks. If they don’t follow there is a reason.

They may not be comfortable, have an injury, or your lead may be off. Either way, move on to something else.

At the end of the day social dancing is a conversation - with an invitation and a response. Sometimes the response is "No" and that’s ok :-)


Stay tuned and check out our other Blogs for more dance tips 💡

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