Yes, No, Maybe Later: The Etiquette of Accepting and Declining Dances

Social dancing is all about connection, courtesy, and fun! Whether you're accepting or declining dances, do so with kindness to maintain a welcoming dance space for all.

🤝 Say Yes to Dance

A good practice is to accept most dances when asked. It can take great courage to ask someone to dance, so it's helpful to say yes when possible.

Once you accept, a warm smile and eye contact go a long way in starting the dance off on a positive note. I will never forget an experience I had once dancing with "Joe". I was at a social and asked him to dance. "Joe" agreed, but to my horror, he looked super annoyed, bored, and wistfully looked around the room as we danced, never once making eye contact with me. Then, when the song ended, he positively beamed, profusely complimented my dancing and warmly thanked me for the experience. Which was nice, but I'd spent the entire song feeling like he hated dancing with me 😅

When you're dancing, be present and appreciate your time together. A genuine smile or pleasant expression puts your parter at ease so they can do their best. And this makes the dance a better experience for you both!

🙅‍♀️ It’s Okay to Say No

You’re never obligated to say yes to a dance. If you decline, do so politely, and then sit out the remainder of that song. You may accept new invitations when the next song begins.

You don't need an elaborate excuse, you may simple say "no thanks" or "thank you, but I'm going to sit this one out".

Some situations when you may want to decline a dance:

• You're resting, eating, or talking with friends
• You don't know the dance
• Someone hurts you or is unsafe on the dance floor
• Someone is creepy, handsy, or makes inappropriate comments

You're in control of who you dance with and when. And, even if you say yes - you can stop dancing and leave the dance floor at any time if the situation becomes unsafe.

💃🏼🕺🏻 Dance with a Variety of Partners

Social dancing is a lot like going to a dinner party. Although you may come with a partner or date, it's not likely that you'll stay glued to their side the entire evening refusing to talk to anyone else but them 😅 

It's the same at a dance party - yes, you'll dance with your partner or date but you'll also dance with many others. It's considerate to make an extra effort to extend invitations to beginners, people at their first dance party, and people visiting from out of town.

It's traditional to dance with your partner or date for the first dance and the last dance, and of course other dances sprinkled throughout the evening.

While it’s fun to dance with your partner, a teacher, or people you know from class - try mixing it up! You'll learn so much by dancing with others, and it helps everyone grow and feel included.

Plus dancing with a variety of people is one of the best ways to become a better leader or follower, to make new friends, and to create a welcoming community that nurtures new dancers.

So spread the love and invite everyone to dance. This creates a thriving, vibrant social dance scene for everyone to enjoy!

🗣️ Anyone Can Ask

Don't wait - initiate! Everyone has the right to ask for a dance, no matter their role, gender, age, or experience level.

At a dance party, it's safe to assume that people are there to dance and would be delighted to dance with you. 

So you don't have to go through the mental calculus that you might in other social situations: Would this person really be interested in me? Am I good enough? Aren't I too old (or too young)? 😬

You may ask simply "Would you like to dance?" or "Want to Cha Cha?".

I can't count the number of hours I've sat out at socials, wishing someone - anyone - would ask me to dance. (This is before I realized that I could ask them ☺️)

People come to parties to dance, and they'd be happy to dance with you. Even if you're a beginner. Even if you don't know a lot of steps. 

Every dancer starts out as a beginner, so we've all been there. It's totally fine. You don't have to be a superstar to ask someone to dance.

The only way to get better is to dance more - so ask away!

❌ Avoid These Dance Floor Mistakes

• Monopolizing a dancer
• Asking only the "good dancers" or the "attractive dancers"
• Avoiding asking the "good dancers" or the "attractive dancers"
• Asking teachers to dance. Teachers and dance hosts are circulating so they can dance equally with everyone. 
• Don't take it personally if they say no. People have many reasons to decline a dance, so don't let it affect your self-esteem.

Enjoy the freedom to ask for the dance. And when you do, you'll open up a world of possibilities - new friends, bright smiles, and beautiful memories that you'll cherish forever ✨

✨ Kindness Keeps the Floor Welcoming

A little courtesy goes a long way. Whether you're dancing with a beginner or a pro, treat every partner with kindness and generosity. And enjoy your time on the dance floor together - at the end of the day, that's what it's all about! 🤗