Is It Working? Why Social Dancing Alone Won’t Make You a Better Dancer
I was out social dancing recently, and the floor was packed with happy dancers - but over in the corner I saw a gentlemen sitting by himself against the wall. Wanting to include him, I went over and asked him to dance.
We danced his attempt at the basic step and an occasional turn, neither of which was comfortable or correct - but being a polite social dancer, I said nothing - just smiled and did my best to follow his movements.
Eventually, he said to me "This is fun", and I replied "Oh, is this your first time dancing?" to which he laughed and said "It probably seems like that, but no, I've been coming here for a while".
Now at this point I was floored, because his dancing was such that I really did think this was his first try. So I said "Have you tried taking classes?"
He said "No, what I'm doing is working." And I said "Ok" 😳
As we continued dancing, he confessed "This is all I know". And I laughed.
And then he said "I guess I'd learn more steps in class?" to which I smiled and replied "Yes".
What was fascinating to me about this encounter was that this person thought he could learn to dance essentially by osmosis. That social dancing itself was good enough. No extra effort needed.
It was "working" he said - working for who?
The interesting thing about partner dancing is that we do NOT know and cannot know how our dancing feels to our partner.
So when we think we know "enough" to get by and that we don't need to learn or grow anymore - it's almost like saying to a partner - I don't care how you feel. I don't care if what I'm doing is comfortable or enjoyable for you. This is good for me.
Now of course no one intends to send that message, but if you're partner dancing - if you expect other people to dance with you, it's kind to work on becoming a good dancer. If not for yourself, then at least for their sake.
Not everyone aspires to be a great dancer, a competitor, or a pro - and that's ok. But everyone can learn some basic skills so it's comfortable for a partner to dance with you.
Social dancers are polite. They will happily dance with beginners, but they don't really want to dance with people who want to remain awkward forever. Such people take and never give.
Much like life - social dancing has a life cycle. You begin as an eager young sprout. Kind gardeners tend to you and water you so you can grow. Eventually you mature, blossom, and then spread the joy of dance to others 🌱
It's kind to evolve as a dancer so you can give back to the community - to be a generous dancer to beginners and to inspire others with your smooth moves.
If you've picked up some moves here and there - this is your invitation to take some classes.
Everyone you will ever dance with says thank you in advance 🙏🏻
